::Fat Girls at Chili's
9:37 p.m. - 2003-09-07
Tonight had been one of the most interesting nights of my college career. Picture for me if you will: Ten fat ladies, fourteen El Presidente Margaritas, Two Big Blue Margaritas, Two Baja Margaritas, Three Tequila Sunrises, and a couple Smirnoffs. Oh, and dinners too. And we fat girls can eat! Yeah...the first LB dinner "meeting". There was no meeting. It was just an excuse for us all to get together and tell embarrassing stories, get drunk (or at least tipsy), and laugh. A LOT. And fat girls? Can drink. Yeah.
So, I'm the youngest employee, and one of two that's under the legal drinking age. I'm the youngest by ONE DAY.
And for all of the six words I said the entire time? I still had fun. Learned a LOT...mostly stuff I never ever wanted to know. And, to better explain my evening, let me introduce you to the girls.
Tania - actually recently quit. I worked with her once, she's...odd. Tell it like it is girl, no tact...at all. She actually scares me a little bit. She and her little husband Steve broke their bed last night...and so they moved to the floor. Yeah...it's what you're thinking. Steve was red all through dinner for that one. And the strip club bachelor/bachelorette party comment. Also? She's cute...she is the woman, to her anyway.
Victoria - she's insane. One El Presidente and she was tipsy. Two? She's nuts. The only one ith rugrats of our company...she left to go pick them up after her dessert, while the rest of us ate everything else in sight. When she's drunk? She can almost convince herself that she could pass for Puerto Rican...even with her dark chocolate skin. She IS J-Lo.
Melissa - got the runs at work after eating Gloria's porkchops. Apparently has a lot of men friends. Has a stalker at her other job. BEAUTIFUL, beautiful girl.
Gloria - the manager. The Big Kahuna (quite literally). She and her tiny husband Alfonzo (whom I've decided is the Spanish version of one Jaron Caldwell...to a T)are really cool. She's nuts, though. Especially when she's had a few. Stories came out of her too. But she's cool.
Ann - my favourite lesbian. EVER. I've known her since last year, from Chamber singers. She gets the giggles after a few El Presidente's. But she's great. I was her designated driver. :) She just became a keyholder, and closed by herself for the first time tonight. Reall, she's great.
Coco - my favourite lady to work with. She has two teenaged sons. She's from Louisiana. She actually didn't drink. And she was at the other end of the table, so I didn't get to talk to her much at all above a "hey Coco!"
Amanda - the other new girl. She didn't say much all night either.
Kem - the second youngest and only other under the legal drinking age. She has a funny accent, and everyone loves to hear her say "nasty". I don't know why.
Anita is the other one. I actually didn't meet her, but she seemed cool enough.
So, between the sausage and taco conversations, the strip club stories, and the three hundred dollar tab...it was a pretty interesting night. I thin it's gonna be fun, especially if I can break into that group.
On another note...why do fat women almost always marry pipe-cleaner skinny guys? I told myself a long time ago that I would not be one of those girls. Even though, in the words of the Queen, "you can NOT fuck a fat man"...I don't want to be with a skinny guy. It just seems so...off-balance. But, on the other hand, put them on a scale together and they even out to about a normal-sized couple. Right? I mean. Lizette (Ann's girlfriend) isn't teensy...so is it just the opposite sex thing? Opposite everything? I guess I just don't get it. But remind me, if I ever date a skinny guy, that I said all of this. K?
Yeah. I've got a story to read. And class tomorrow. So I'm out like a fat kid in dodgeball. Vale!
Song - "The Remedy" by Jason Mraz and "Fat Bottom Girls" by Queen
