::Born to Procrastinate
11:44 a.m. - 2004-03-28
It's three hours until I have to be at work. The library doesn't open for another hour. And thanks to some seriously shitty luck (or something that might be karmic), I have to term paper research IN the library because tey won't let me check out the book I need, even for just a couple of hours.
So I decided to sit down and write some of this huge-ass paper that's due TOMORROW in the meantime. And I can't come up with a damn thing. It sucks some serious monkey nuts that I can't ever come up with anything even remotely resembling substantial until the very last possible second. Ever.
It's like I was born to procrastinate. Creativity never strikes until it's almost out of time. And intelligent thought...nonexistent until the eleventh hour. Sometimes even until the eleventh-and-a-half hour.
Frustrating? Hell yeah. Any idea how to cure it? No. I've tried lying to myself. "This paper is due tomorrow. TOMORROW!" a week or two before it's actually due. Somehow I always seem to outsmart me. Call my bluff. I know it's not due. And my little inner writer knows it too. She's just laughing at me. I can almost hear her.
Is that weird? Okay good.
I've tried intimidating my little inner writer. "You'd better kick it into gear now or no books for a year!"
That didn't work either.
I've tried reverse psychology. "You are such an awful writer. I don't know how you managed to get past third grade. Lousy illiterate piece of crap!"
Unsuccessful.
I've tried the reward system. "If we get this paper done before tomorrow, I'll buy us a CD. Or maybe some gelatto. Hell, I'll buy us a TV!"
No again. I guess she knew I was bluffing with the TV thing. After all, she knows how poor I am. Better than I do even. Because she's much smarter than me. I really would have done the CD and gelatto thing though.
I've given her the cold shoulder. I've tried to force her out. I've tried EVERYTHING. But she neer ever shows up until she's damn good and ready.
So I guess I'll just have to deal. Who needs sleep the night before a test anyway?
Paca
